Tuesday - April 19, 2011
Writing takes my time lately. I’m in three projects for writing alone. Writing a series of poems for the monthly challenge, writing a television script, working on my novel. Plus I’ve several art projects needing done soon. I’m working on my German, working on my drawing lessons (from books), trying to keep a grip on pain. It’s very bad.
Since the aquarium on Saturday, I’m in a great deal of pain. It’s overwhelming and I’m in bed a lot. Today I am up for a while, but I may need to go back to bed. It just hurts.
My laptop is great, the keyboard is still difficult to use. I’m having fun making videos of myself. I fixed the odd sound issue and tomorrow a microphone arrives so I can make them without feeling like I need to shout to be heard. That’ll be fantastic. Then I’ll make a couple videos to e-mail out.
It’s been very nice lately, making some new friends. Some with same health issues, so it’s good to know someone who knows what I mean when I say this or that hurts. A couple are fellow writers and it’s so good to get to talk about writing with others who enjoy it as much as I do. poetry, scripts, novels. We talk about books, it’s fantastic. I’m reading a book now on the recommendation of one new friend. I’ve several others in a pile on the recommendation of others too.
It’s hard to read books with my eyes this way, new glasses next month though. I’ve so many projects going on to keep myself busy that it’s too many, I’ve not enough energy to do them all in one day.
It’s so nice out this week but I am too sick to enjoy it But online it is nice when friends get in chat and we can talk, update about our writing, update about how we all feel, laugh, feel happy in knowing I am not alone in medical struggles or writing struggles even. It’s just good. I did not know I’d ever find another friend after Judi died. Now I’ve a very good close friend and a couple others that are very close too. I feel a lot better.
The life insurance forms came and I sent them bakc, it was processed insanely fast. The check came. It’s in the savings account now. Clears for use next week. I’m overwhelmed. I knew that I was special to them and they were special to me. This is just… wow. Really truly just wow. I can’t deal with it, I can’t make plans, I don’t want to hear about plans for the money. It makes me want to vomit to think on it. I know they’d want me to use it happily, but I can’t yet. I can’t even sort the boxes from the will.
With my laptop, after the microphone arrives, I will make videos. I will document the things as I find them in the boxes. Maybe I will share them with my new friends, they’ve heard my stories about her. Judi would have liked them, I know she’d be happy to know I found friends again. Found someone to talk to about hobbies I have, she’d like that.
I like it too
Tuesday - April 05, 2011
Busy writing, drawing, working on puzzles with some new online friends. Having a very happy time of it all. Script Frenzy is not going well but I have plans in progress. I’m participating in National Poetry writing too, a poem a day every day for April. I’m not sharing what I write, but I am doing it.
Yesterday the weather was fantastic, today not so much.
Having lots of fun drawing, but I don’t want to share them here since I share them elsewhere and I don’t want to two accounts linked. I’ve made some nice friends there but I don’t release too much direct info. They know a lot but not about some things. That’s where I’ve been instead, hanging out on that site working on projects and the like.
It makes me happy
My drawing is improving, my skill with the wacom improves daily too. My NaNoWriMo is going okay. Having a bit of a stall, I’m taking a break during april mostly. Then in May I’ll dive into it again with hopefully the ability to progress rather than go in circles.
It’s been a hard time since last July. The last couple of weeks things have improved, but it’s still hard, but I’ve made some friends and it’s just nice to have someone to talk to about crafts and books we’ve both read. One sews, another has health issues too, another is possibly insane but she’s fantastically fun, another few are fellow writers! I’ve never really had anyone else to talk about writing with.
I am feeling more confident in my writing, having shown a little bit of it recently and received nice compliments as well as some tips on editing (I requested the opinions) so that is good. It makes me feel less self conscious when someone says they like my art, my writing, everything. It’s just good. It’s one thing for family to say it, but totally different when a stranger with no vested interest in my life says it… then becomes my friend.
Pain is real high lately, unbearable at times. I just grit my teeth and try to focus on creative stuff here at my PC. I’m thinking about a laptop, that way I can write while on the couch or in bed, or on the floor if that’s what it takes to ease pain. I will hold my writing in it, my drawings, it’ll be like an expensive diary. So today I am scoping them out. I had considered Acer until I saw some other reviews. The customer service got bad reviews for the drivers and firmware never been updated rapidly. Now I am unsure what to do.
I don’t suppose it’s like a regular PC where you can buy parts and pop them in.
It has to be at least a specific spec, I mean to draw and write, it needs internet since I’ll link into the wireless so I can keep up on internet and chats with the puzzle crew as we complete our tasks. I don’t now what I want.
I just know, I decided… I want one. Been saving up, so there it is. Time to get one. Plus, if I get one, I can work on drawing during trips to my inlaws! YES! It will be brilliant. I’ll get a USB wave keyboard, pack my mouse, tablet, stylus, laptop, and that’ll be brilliant.
I am preparing to start a comic for a friend, testing out designs and then maybe this week I’ll gather up the storyline I need to build around. It’ll be cute. I hope.
Wednesday - March 23, 2011
Need I say more?
Writing some. Drawing some. Mostly I hurt. That’s all. I feel sad and I hurt too much.
Thursday - March 10, 2011
Nothing to blog about lately.
Pokemon arrived, I love it! I did some sewing this week. Worked on my loom knitting. Mostly been having to rest. Pain is just real bad. If I’m not exhausted, I’m in pain, if I’m not in pain, oh wait yeah that’s a good one.
Mostly playing online, looking at games and trying some out. Keeping me busy, drawing too, the tablet is awesome. I also think I am drinking way too much black tea. Kind of jittery now.
Thursday - March 03, 2011
Woo, the ordres are shipped. I was able to get the sandals I like off the Walmart site and also I ordered my husband’s birthday gift. Should arrive today, no tomorrow actually I think. Watching Megamind today and also Doctor Who.
Then I will attempt to crochet but I am not sure, most of my crafts are on hold. The flu pains are severe lately. I don’t have the flu though, it’s just everything messed up due to stress. The boxes from Judi should arrive today I think. Not sure. I don’t have a tracking number. Not real sure what to do with them, no idea what size the boxes will be. Garage for sure, and then… I do not think I can deal with them. The boxes will just need to sit for now.
It will be… difficult.
It is hard tod eal with stuff this week. Feel sick and stressed. Drawing a lot, working on my novel, laying down a lot.
Friday - February 25, 2011
Fantastic! I almost burst into tears when that K-9 scene happened. DUDES! I’m okay now, it’s all good. Then I watched a couple more. What the heck, the Age of Steel. My brain cannot handle this stuff. I hope tomorrow’s episodes that I watch are not gonna make me cry. I am already on the verge of tears all day, I do not feel good. Stupid pain levels are bad.
Practicing my drawing, working on my novel, cleaning a bit when I can function. That’s my days lately! Lots of editing, whoa it’s a lot of hard work. Working on the flat layouts, getting the character names sorted. I have to change one, I’m reluctant but I need to. Turns out it’s a famous English guy it seems. But I cannot figure out a new name and for editing purposes, I retain it for ease fo working.
It’s nearly 7am. I am still up, don’t feel like sleeping but I guess I will. It hurts to lay down.
Monday - February 21, 2011
Editing the novel a lot
It’s slow going. Hard work actually.
I get distracted easily. Working on pasting the file into Scrivener into chunks. I am afraid there are too many words to put it all as one big file, it’ll bog the program down. So chunks it is. Then I’ll work from that, pulling the sections down into the proper chapter sections. Slow going. Chapter 5 (or what is temporarily marked as the 5th section) is a disaster. Hoping after this section, the next ones clear up nicely.
The pasting turned the quotes into letters. Ugh. So that’s really a hassle.
Sunday - February 20, 2011
Fangirl time: Sherlock Movie
*flail* I finally got the Sherlock Movie from Netflix. No wait time on it, I just hadn’t rented it yet is all.
Robert Downey Jr. is an interesting Sherlock. I had been reluctant to watch it, fearing maybe it wouldn’t be… Sherlock enough. It’s good! But it’s different. I really liked it! I do prefer the BBC Sherlock, since it feels more Sherlock. That sounds silly to say. Plus I like Benedict as a Sherlock and Martin as Watson A WHOLE LOT!!
RDJ is a scruffy Sherlock, I like it. Watson was great too! Explosions, interesting about the copper tub… oooo. I find that useful info to have for future writing. Irene.. tsk.. I love Gladstone, and Mary… aww how lovely was she!? Her petting up on Gladstone, so adorable. Her dress was awesome.
I can’t think clearly to blog, I feel like I’m only getting half the words out. Pain is very bad right now. Waited too long for medication. Took some but it’s got to find my pain.
Basically dudes, go rent it and watch it. It’s fantastic. Second one comes soon. AND DUDES! *bug eyed* Stephen Fry!? YES! Dr Gordon Gordon, you will be fantastic as Mycroft! *fist pump* YES! *dances around like nerd* You know Fry’s got it going on. He’s the man. Whabam dudes, Whabam indeed.
So now I have even more Sherlock to love.
Basil, Jeremy, Benedict, RDJ, the mouse in Great Mouse Detectives, the books. *flail* I can’t handle it.
I have to admit, I’m a little sad about warmer weather in a way, it means I can’t wear my Sherlock Coat! I will have to create a new messenger bag, fix that puppy up with some serious dancing men code going on. I will be so fly in teh summer. Get me a little magnifying glass at the thrift shop, carry it around. So fly, so fly.
What will Benedict wear, they will film in May! Won’t it be freaking hot in England? I should say yes? Maybe not. I do hope they don’t put them in shorts and flip flops. Sherlock in shorts? I dunno… flip flops are not good for chasing, put themin converse and that’s okay. Really though, come on now. Whatever they’re in I will love them
Because it’s SHERLOCK HOLMES! *flails*
Yeah, Sherlock… I always fangirl it up over books and games and movies and shows. My whole life. I love Sherlock. Somday, I will own the entire set of books. Even the extra ones. HOLY CRAP PEOPLE! A NEW ONE IN SEPT! *flail* I don’t even mind if it’s all in paperback. I will start getting them on PBS I think. Yes yes. (paperbackswap)
I am excited about Sherlock Holmes every day.
Friday - February 18, 2011
Yay! We thought about going for dinner but couldn’t really figure out where to go. So he stopped at the market and got stuff so we could make hot subs in the oven. NOM! Plus, plus… he got me a very pretty card!
Today was so not like the day we got married. It was 70, warm, sunny, not too windy. We even took a mile walk about 10:30pm or so into town. Haven’t been able to do that in a long while because of the weather! Good day
Hoping he’ll be able to sleep soon, he’s due at work real early. Not sure when I’ll go to sleep, I want to get some writing done. Been so tired all day it’s been tough to do anything. Feeling okay after the walk though, so writing must be tackled.
Tuesday - February 15, 2011
Nanowrimo in February!
Still going at it. Trying to focus on it really hard rather than simply just writing randomly. It’s excessively overwhelming, the amount of words I have scattered among the files and such. I’m piecing together the chapters. Trying to work out a few things still. The intro, namely. It is very important, as it sets the twist later in the book. Depending on what I do.
Bus accident seems so whoa, but it does set the first death in motion.
Having the girl in America still? Sure sure that works.
Having her arrive at Customs? Sure that works too.
Is her soon to be boyfriend an actor, a detective, a uni student? I dunno…
I got all sorts of versions. It’s maddening trying to figure out what I like most.
Having fun with my drawing challenge though, tomorrow is Day 4, “fav place” and you gotta know, my fav place is at my computer haha.
Saturday - February 12, 2011
30 day drawing challenge
Time to see if I can do it! Day 1: Draw myself
I am too tired, I got a basic sketch but I need to watch the tutorial again to find out how the guy drew the vase, my layers aren’t doing anything or letting me color in under the tracing paper. I dunno what’s up. Maybe the layer goes to the top instead. Today I napped a lot, pleurisy is easing up, can breathe almost normal. Too tired though, all day. It sucks.
Tomorrow I draw, its’ technically my “day 1” not today. Then I’ll figure out what I’ve got energy for after that, if anything. Being worn out sucks. I’m taking my vitamin d, so dang.. imagine if I wasn’t. I’d be out cold. Off to sleep now if I can. Husband has to work here shortly, crazy work hours, so mostly I am waiting on him to go so I can sleep in silence. TV is really loud, then there’ll be th esounds of him getting ready, I’d just be medicated and annoyed so might as well stay up and blog and read blogs!
Wednesday - February 09, 2011
Tablet has a butt tag on it
You know how teddy bears have a butt tag sewn on? Folded in half, sewn into a seam?
Well, my tablet has one on the side and all day I’ve been wondering why they’d put a tag on like it’s a cuddly. It just occurred to me why. It’s for the pen haha. Imagine that, a perfect fit.
Just goofed around with water color option, did a sunset then wrote on it. It’s very cheesy. I like it. Was fun. I can’t sleep. Nightmares are impossible today. So I am up, playing online, being bored. Having fever and chills, so much fun, yay. Drab yay. More drab yay.
Tuesday - February 08, 2011
Whoa, I loaded Corel up, played a bit with the photo painter thing. I got tired of waiting on it to finish so I stopped it. It’s hilarious looking! Maybe it just runs until I stop it though. Looked pretty rough.
Then I played in the other tab. The paints blend.
THE PAINTS! THEY BLEND!
Yes, people. I throw down some turquoise. I throw down some hot pink on top, they blend ever so slightly just as if I had paint in my hand. Oh. Man. I am gonna marry it!
It will be time ot hit up the library for some art books again. Who needs bottles of paint anymore!? Not me, I am gonna paint me some stuff dude. I could paint something, go have it printed all high quality, and frame it. Painting by me, sure it’s not acrylic or oil, but dude… it is… digital-acrylic, digital-oil.
Who’s like a boss now?
COME AT ME BRO!
UPS brought my order. Sherlock 1 *fangirl flailing* Episodes one, two, three, commentaries, making of. People, roll me outside.
Also, let me get control of my fangirl ways for a moment and tell you what else arrived today: My Wacom Bamboo Craft *commence fangirl flailing for Wacom* Dudes, this thing is nice! I did the touch and pen tutorials. I had read that there was a delay between what aws done to what was on the computer during the tutorial. I had no delay, or if there is it’s so minor that I don’t notice it. I did the rotate, zoom, move and it’s all real time. I did the pen drawing tutorial (mostly it had me scribble that’s it) and I drew my usual stuff and it was real time it seemed. No idea what people are complaining about. Maybe there is a delay once I hook up through photoshop and the like?
I can’t handle it! It’s overwhelming.
Taking a break from the tablet while I finish some pencil and ink sketches that I need to scan in later. Several new ATCs. Just going to scan and play with them later. I’ll probably color some copies though, later with pencils or water colors. I dunno. One I will turn into an avatar I think, the rest just are for fun. They’re cute, if I may be so bold as to say so! Rather proud of the whole set.
Saturday - February 05, 2011
I did it.
Ordered a tablet finally. Wacom Bamboo Craft. I debated between Craft and the other that seemed to be exactly the same in another color, except for the software provided. One had some WE version of a filter program, upon reading, it’s just a very watered down version. Not even the small 15 filter set. Ah well. The Craft comes with Corel, says specifically it’s for drawing with instead. Otherwise the software seemed to be the same. So there we go. Plus it has some scrapbooking ideas which was kind of neat. It’ll be here next week hopefully.
I’ve read that it takes a bit to really learn to draw with it, gonna have to spend time practicing it sounds like. Looking forward to it.
Also ordered *fangirl flailing* Sherlock BBC Season 1 DVD - *shiny rainbow eyed gaze* Like whoa, it’s Sherlock. So excited I could puke forth a rainbow, people. I have 1 and 3 saved on the DVR, but 2 didn’t survive ugh. Plus there’s the commentary. That’s *fangirl flail* Yeah. It’s Sherlock! Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch, *flail flail flail* Wanna kick Anderson in the crotch, because he’s such a tool at the drugs bust, but *flail* otherwise!
Got some weird sleep, dreamed I went around hugging on people. Not just one of those hey-long-time-no-see patpatpat your back, I mean I was really clinging to them like it was the last hug of my life.
Going to go get ready, thrift store then groceries at the Walmarts because I need sharpies too. I can’t finish my sketches from last night, my sharpie is skipping too much. I will ponder this hug dream, my arms are tired, I must have been hugging Beuford (my bear) until is ears almost popped off. He’ll poof into a pile of fluffy stuffing at that rate. Need to go get my husband to get ready too, shop closes soon.
Wednesday - February 02, 2011
Groundhog Day! Spring is near!
I am too lacking energy today to celebrate with dying eggs and baking cupcakes or cookies, not to mention we only have brown eggs in the fridge anyway! I need to get white ones, maybe just six. I like the brown ones, actually. I want to dye some soi need white. I’m rambling. I read that I am sorry. I will bake oatmeal cokies in celebration later this week. BECAUSE! Why why why why… that’s right people
SPRING IS NEAR!
Yippie! Punxatawny Phil, I love you this year If you are right, I will love you all year. I fyou are wrong, I will probably send you a valentine that says "Dear Phil, get glasses, love me."
I have spent much of my day under the blankets. Slept very late, got up, moped around feeling like crap, got back in bed, felt better, got up, moping around again, trying to work up energy to fix food. It's not going well. Not hungry anyway. Need to get up and take pain medication I think, that'll help I'm sure. I feel horrible today. It is upsetting because it was nice out, I had plans to go for a walk, maybe even bike into town but noooooo.... stupid health had other plans.
(y u no guy image here)
Y U NO LEAVE ME ALONE!
Monday - January 31, 2011
The initial horrific heartbreaking shock has worn, I’m okay now. Scrivener (for Windows beta) expired at 12:01 this morning. Had I not closed it before going to sleep, I’d still be writing in it! The new beta won’t be ready till tomorrow. I will go do laundry, catch up on tv shows, crochet. Used all my energy trying to clean yesterday but hey my counters look great.
Also, lowered my dose to ONE pill last night. It’s for both sleep, and for nightmares. Sadly, I had nightmares. Not too horrific, regular nightmares, not the PTSD style. So that was okay I guess. Could have been worse. Apparently we were housing some rare art in our basement. It was a crazy dream, it wouldn’t have been a nightmare had there not been fires. It’d just been a crazy dream. So I will try again tonight on half dose. I woke up not feeling excessively drugged. I had not ever considered that the weight loss would require an adjustment in medication.
My other pills are same dose no matter what my weight is, but this one definitely a big difference. I’m awake right now! No energy, but I’m awake. My brain feels good. I think I’ll go draw and watch Rosemary & Thyme so I can get the next movie I want. Yes!
Had to reset my ITunes PW again, authorized London Elektricity again, 3 of 5. Stop deauthorizing me, you jerks. Gonna put it on CD.
Sunday - January 30, 2011
I got the counters cleared, nice and clean, taking a break so I do not use all my energy. The vitamin D pills make a huuuuge difference. I ‘m up to 5,000 (milligrams? whatever the bottle is.. IU? UI? whatever) a day and my energy is pretty okay. It’s not good, but it is far better than last year when my D levels were so very low. I’m getting zero sun at all these days it seems. It’s cloudy a lot, raining, just in general pretty crappy. The few days I do go get sun, my lupus flares. What is this crappery in my life?
I hope that playing JD2 by the window with the curtains open counts as a bit of sun at least on some days.
So I got the counters all shiny and lovely, all the stuff put away. We need a pantry so I can feel organized in there. In a bit I’ll unload/re-load the dishwasher with the dishes from today. Then probably another break, -sigh- and then! I hope I have enough energy to mop! Woohoo! I like mopping with my steam mop. The thing is kind of hard to maneuver, but I like it. I need to do laundry too but the garage is right cold and I’m not so sure about that. We’ll see. We’re okay on clothes, I can do it tomorrow.
Today I will write, haven’t written yet on the novel. If I start, I will get nothing else done. I’ll forget to eat, I’ll not clean, I’ll not blog!
So that is later.
Husband just called, finally off work yay! BYE!
Saturday - January 29, 2011
I am a nerdfighter
I think I am a nerdfighter.
I like the term worldsuck, there’s too much of it. Working on my writing today, ate some chili, watched half of a Burn Notice episode, played a game at Kong, checked blogs, thinking I will try to go to bed before midnight. Really tired but pain is keeping me from laying down and getting cozy.
Friday - January 28, 2011
It makes me very sad. I made the mistake of reading some of the news. Why do I bother? I am always heartbroken, near tears or worse in tears. Today is the anniversary of the Challenger. The stuff about Egypt, what the hell? Seriously no, I mean what the hell? Are we as humans not capable of common sense, compassion, love, are the vicious ones in Egypt that heartless? What prompts someone, several someones at that, to just enact such viciousness? I do not and cannot comprehend.
I do not understand what causes anyone, a “parent”, a neighbor, a stranger, someone in a government capacity, anyone… to be evil to another. To cause such harm and pain, the kind of pain that destroys one’s mind. Why? Why would you do that? Why is it done, and in such grand capacity.
Why not quit being assholes and eat cake, be happy, be friendly. You don’t have to like everyone. There are people I cannot stand, but you don’t see me electrocuting, beating, stabbing with a titanium spork, do you? (though that last one has crossed my mind many a time, but I wouldn’t do it, even if I did own one)
This is why I avoid the news. I write happy stories, daily, to make me smile. Stories of people who do have painful childhoods in some cases but they’re strong, happy, loved now. The news in their town is good news, not always but mostly. The bad news gets sorted out, the bad guys get carted off, good prevails. I bake rainbow cupcakes to bring double rainbows into my life (break them in half). I exercise to stay as healthy as I can, I try to eat right but lately I am lacking vegetables shame on me. I live in my own world and I’m happy here.
I will not venture out into the world of pain anymore. No more news, I won’t read the paper, even the local news breaks my heart. I don’t watch or read scary shows and books. I’ll stick with replaying Sherlock BBC over and over, Poirot over and over, those make me happy. Sure people die, but in the end… Sherlock who is so lovely with Kitten Pawman,I mean John… and Hercule who is adorable with Hastings and Mrs Lemon… they solve the case and all ends well, that is happiness.
This bullcrap in the news, I hate this planet sometimes, much of the time. Too much pain and sadness. Why can’t people be allowed the chance to be happy, why cause so much trauma? I can’t deal with it. I find that I can barely watch most of my favorite tv shows because they’re just full of sadness. Plus my attention span is so bad lately due to pain.
Pain, yeah… it’s jacked to almost level white. I need to go find my pain pills and lay down and think about happy things to write in my novel that’s gone totally sidetracked. I now have different characters, living different lives, nothing to do with NaNoWriMo anymore. It’s distracting but fun. I was upset that I can’t stay focused, but whatever… it makes me happy to write their lives, their conversations, their days of doing mundane things. Beats the crap in the news.
I don’t care i fpeople think it’s horrible I would rather hide under a rock than know what goes on. My ownmental health has to stay stable or else what good am I? To protect my own emotional wellbeing, I’ll avoid the drama on facebook that people like to post, I"ll avoid the news, I’ll avoid certain blogs for a while. I respect their decision to spread the word, I am glad they do, but I personally cannot handle it.
I’ll be over here, living on Pluto, becasue Pluto is always a planet in my heart.